Recovery (Positives)
I am rooted in my own values, even if others don't agree or
become angry.
I can separate my feelings from the feelings of others.
I am committed to my safety and recovery work.
I leave situations that feel unsafe or are inconsistent with
my goals.
I respect my own opinions and feelings and am afraid to
express appropriately.
I consider my own interests first when asked to participate
in another’s plans.
My sexuality is grounded in genuine intimacy and
connection.
I know the difference between lust and love.
Control Patterns
Codependence (negitives)
I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of themselves.
I attempt to convince others of what they “should” think and
how they “truly” feel.
I become resentful when others will not let me help them.
I freely offer others advice and directions without being asked.
I lavish gifts and favors on those I care about.
I use sex to gain approval and acceptance.
I have to be “needed” in order to have a relationship with
others.
Low Self Esteem Patterns:
Codependence (negitives)
I have difficulty making decisions.
I judge everything I think, say, or do harshly, as never
“good enough.”
I am embarrassed to receive recognition, praise, or gifts.
I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires.
I value others’ approval of my thinking, feelings, and behavior
over my own.
I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.
Compliance Patterns
Codependence (negitives)
I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others’ anger.
I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same.
I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
I value others’ opinions and feelings more than my own and am afraid to express differing opinions and feelings of my own.
I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others want.
I accept sex when I want love.
The Twelve Steps of Codependents Anonymous
1. We admitted we were powerless over others - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of our (Higher Power) as we understood our (Higher Power).
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to your (Higher Power), to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have our (Higher Power) remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked (Higher Power) to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with your (Higher Power) as we understood our
(Higher Power), praying only for knowledge of our (Higher Power's) will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other codependents, and to
practice these principles in all our affairs.
Recovery (Positives)
I am aware of my identify feelings and them, often in the
moment.
I keep the focus on my own well-being .
I know the difference between caring and caretaking.
Recovery Patterns of Codependents
Patterns and Characteristics of Codependence
These patterns and characteristics are offered as a tool to aid in self-evaluation. They may be particularly helpful to newcomers.
Denial Patterns:
I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.
I minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel.
I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well being of others.
Low Self Esteem Patterns:
I have difficulty making decisions.
I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, asnever "good enough."
I am embardesires.
I value others' approval of my thinking, feelings and behavior over my own.
I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.
Recovery (Positives)
I realize that, with rare exceptions, other adults are capable
of managing their own lives.
My job is to let them.
I accept and value the differing thoughts, feelings, and
opinions of others.
I feel comfortable when I see others take care of themselves.
I am a compassionate and empathic listener, giving advise
only if directly asked.
I lavish gifts and favors on those contemplate my motivations when preparing to give a gift.
I feel loved and accepted for myself, just the way I am.
I develop relationships with others based onequality, intimacy, and balance.
Welcome to codependents anonymous, a fellowship of men, women, young adults, senior citizens whose common purpose is to
develop healthy relationships. It does not matter what radce, color or sex you are. The only requirement for membership is a desire
for healthy and loving relationships. We gather together to support and share with each other in a journey of self discovery learning to love ourselves. Living the program allows each of us to become increasingly honest with ourselves about our personal histories and our own codependent behaviors. We rely upon the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions for knowledge and wisdom. These are the
principles of our program and guides to developing honest and fulfilling relationships with ourselves and others. In codependence
anonymous, we each learn to build a bridge to a Higher Power of our own understanding, and we allow others the same privilege.
Information provided to you from www.coda.org
The Twelve Steps of Codependents Anonymous
1. We admitted we were powerless over others - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of our (Higher Power) as we understood our (Higher Power).
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to your (Higher Power), to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have our (Higher Power) remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked (Higher Power) to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with your (Higher Power) as we understood our
(Higher Power), praying only for knowledge of our (Higher Power's) will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other codependents, and to
practice these principles in all our affairs.
Denial Patterns
Codependence (negitives)
I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.
I minimize, alter, or deny how I truly feel.
I perceive myself as being completely unselfish and dedicated
to the well being of others.
Lancaster SC Coda Online Support Group
.....no matter how bad your past or present life may be, there is always hope in Codependants Anonymous
Recovery (Positives)
I trust my ability to make effective decisions.
I accept myself as I am.
I emphasize progress over enough.”
I feel appropriately worthy of the recognition, praise, or gifts
I receive.
I meet my own needs and wants when possible.
I reach out for help when it’s necessary and appropriate.
I have confidence in myself.
I no longer seek others’ approval of my thoughts, feelings,
and behavior.
I recognize myself as being a lovable and valuable person.
If you would like to print out a copy of the Codependency Recovery Program Click here
Meditation on Page 3 - Relationships "Show your Gratitude"
BLOG #1 click here Lancaster SC Coda Online Support Group Blog at Website Blog
BLOG #2 click here Lancaster SC Coda Online Support Group Blog at Wordpress.Com
BLOG #3 click here Lancaster SC Coda Online Support Group Blog at Dinstudio.Com
Lancaster SC Coda Online Support Group Live Chat click here
(NOTE: I only will be on the Live Chat if you send me a request that you want it.
Please give date and time in the following email that is best for you.)
honeycuttja@lancastersccodaonline.com
Control Patterns:
I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of
themselves.
I attempt to convince others of what they "should" think and
how they "truly" feel.
I become resentful when others will not let me help them.
I freely offer others advice and directions without being
asked.
I lavish gifts and favors on those I care about.
I use sex to gain approval and acceptance.
I have to be "needed" in order to have a relationship with
others.
Compliance Patterns:
I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection
or other's anger.
I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same.
I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
I value others' opinions and feelings more than my own and am
afraid to express differing opinions and feelings of my own.
I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what
others want.
I accept sex when I want love.
If you want to give a gift of any
amount to help improve and
expand this website click below
email: honeycuttja@lancastersccodaonline.com
The Twelve Traditions of Codependents Anonymous
1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon CoDA unity.
2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority -- a loving higher power expressed to our group conscience.
Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
3. The only requirement for membership in CoDA is a desire for healthy and loving relationships.
4. Each group should remain autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or CoDA as a whole.
5. Each group has but one primary purpose -- to carry its message to other codependents who still suffer.
6. A CoDA group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the CoDA name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest
problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary spiritual aim.
7. A CoDA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
8. Co-Dependents Anonymous should remain forever non-professional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
9. CoDA, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to
those they serve.
10. CoDA has no opinion on outside issues; hence the CoDA name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need to always maintain personal anonymity
at the level of press, radio, and films.
12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions; ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.